|photo from time.com. I don't want to get sued.|
As I mentioned above, I don't think I need specific incidents to make me feel grumpy although rarely something "terrible" does happens. But usually I can't just wake up and feel like being grumpy because it makes me feel guilty. I know that some people's version of "terrible" is way worse than mine. So on days where I want to be grumpy for my mental wellness and I don't have something "terrible" actually happen, I have to think of reasons why I need to be grumpy so the pissiness, sensitivity, short-temperedness and cynicism can spring forth and cleanse my soul.
Today is one of those days. I need to feel grumpy today. I woke up this morning knowing this fact. Honestly, I might have known this sometime between 7:14 p.m eastern time and 9:48 p.m eastern time last evening but that's no matter. So, since I occasionally need to come up with excuses to be grumpy, my day went a little like this:
Wake up due to Kitty attacking feet. Usually be amused by this kitty cuteness but not today. Today I want this to be ANNOYING, as I am still tired and not ready to get up yet. Today is GROUCHY day. Wonder why is cat harassing me this early in the morning? WORRY that she's sick and about to vomit on the floor, which i will ultimately step in as I stumble around the dark to find it. Maybe she wants tuna? Feed cat tuna and go back to bed. Kitty resumes feet harassment (biting, pouncing and scratching) and then proceeds to walk all over my attempting- to- get- back- to- sleep body all the while allowing Greg to sleep in peace. Be PERTURBED that he is blissfully unaware of this kitty cat drama taking place right next to him.
Alarm goes off eventually. Greg gets out of comfy warm bed. COLD now. Ugh. Get up, look out window. See snow and wind in large quantities.(this is an exciting thing for me on most days, today its not because its GROUCHY day) Put on teapot. Remember we are out of the good coffee. Will have to make the other not as good stuff. Life sucks. Turn on tv and watch a billion schools and businesses scroll under "closed" section of ticker.Be JEALOUS of these bratty kids and their snow days. See Wood County under level 2 snow emergency. Don't see county government closed for the day. Not fair. MAD. Be ANGRY because on most days I could call off work but today I can't because I'm filling in for another employee who is on vacation. Roar! JEALOUS! Remember that this "filling in" is not what I got hired to do. ANGRY.
Also be UPSET that Greg has one of those "have to be there" jobs and will also be potentially risking his life for nothing as well. Be WORRIED about him getting to work okay. Be mad at myself for not being very nice to him and realizing its too late to apologize now because he's already gone, but be happy that I got a kiss that tasted like Tom's toothpaste. Be FLUSTERED by this kiss and try to think of something to be BITTER about again. Be POUTY that I will not be drinking the good coffee today. Be JEALOUS that Kitty is now sleeping soundly on the couch and I'm still awake. Get ready for work. Be CONFUSED as to why I can never find matching socks. Check facebook, update status as "today sucks. hope I survive." even though I typically don't like when people complain via status update. Be PISSED that I'm being a hypocrite and be IRRITATED that I missed all the good farmville posts. Be ANNOYED that I even like farmville because its a huge waste of time, yet still be IRRITATED that I didn't get the new caramel apple tree for my fake farm. Caramel apple tree? That's not even real.
Be UPSET that I have to finish getting ready for work and drive in in this CRAP. Be FRUSTRATED that no one has called me yet to say I don't have to come in today. Finish getting ready for work while being GROUCHY and TIRED and good coffeeless. Go to the office, get blown across the parking lot by the wind. Be somewhat IMPRESSED with Mother Nature's prowess. Remember that I need to be GROUCHY today, not impressed. Find out that the locks on the company vehicle are frozen so can't get in. SO MAD NOW. Go inside. Sit at office and wait for co-worker to come in so she can give me keyless entry device for company vehicle. While waiting, try to think of something to be IRATE at her about, conclude that I can't think of a damn thing. She's too nice. Be MAD that she's a better person than me.
Be LIVID toward my other co-worker because she's late per usual. Do following rambling math in head: 250ish physical work days per year x 5 minutes (at least) of late time per day equals 2.6 days of extra vacation that she gets and I don't get because I show up on time. Be EMBARRASSED that I'm not better at math and that my calculations could be wrong. Be FURIOUS with myself that I will never have the nerve to say that to her out loud. Be MAD that I won't even care about this tomorrow but I do today since I'm GROUCHY.
Get keyless entry device and proceed drive to temporary work site while being nervous the whole way because the roads are pretty bad and being NERVOUS makes me feel like I need to pee. Be CONFUSED as to why feel like I gotta pee every time I get NERVOUS. Get to my temporary work site and seesurprised look on co-workers face. Be asked why I showed up. Be asked why I didn't keep my ass at home. Don't I know its a level two outside? Don't I know what that means? Come to the conclusion that they are giving me a hard time because they must be sexist and think that because I am female and blond so I must also not know how to drive in the snow. Be OFFENDED by this even though any other day I would be touched by their concern for my safety. Be asked about the bees and be reminded that they did not survive the winter. Be DEPRESSED about that.
Be BORED. Be MAD that I'm bored. Be UPSET that I'm not home taking a nap. Continue to STEW and sit there for 6.5 hours and only 5 customers show up. Realize that I forgot my lunch at home and will have to go without today. Be HOPELESS and HUNGRY. Receive the following text message: " Know that I am praying for a great day for you and that I got your back and I'm pretty scary, so don't worry about 'nothin :)" from my beautiful friend Whitney and then proceed to be THANKFUL for having a GOOD friend who went out of her way in order to help me turn my day around.
SMILE. HAPPY, WARM feelings. Think more happy, warm thoughts because naturally, this is what happens when I suddenly find myself in a GOOD mood. As day goes by come up with less and less to be MAD about and eventually give up on GROUCHY day. It is the weekend, after all, and it takes a lot more energy to be MAD than it does to be HAPPY. Come to the conclusion that I am a very lucky girl to actually need excuses to be grumpy. I have a good life, I really do and for that I am indescribably grateful.
*Insert deep, joyful sigh.*